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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589424">out of character</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acephobia, Altered Mental States, Cunnilingus, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), Drunk Sex, F/M, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Object Penetration, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Transphobia, but like. bad., elaboration on cws in notes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:16:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27589424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon and Martin decide to stay at Upton House despite the damage it does to Jon. Luckily for everyone else, in his weak and helpless state, Jon is willing to do just about anything that feels good.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annabelle Cane/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Mikaele Salesa/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Rusty Kink</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>out of character</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>- on the transphobia and acephobia: jon is touched in places and had sex with in way that, in his fully conscious state, he said he was not okay with<br/>- while jon is mostly happy to participate in the sex scenes, obviously all the sex scenes here are rape because he can't consent in this state. having said that, there is a part toward the end where jon is aware that he doesn't want to have a certain kind of sex with someone and he gets very distressed when it happens anyway.<br/>- it doesn't happen on page, but there is a description of annabelle forcing jon to drink alcohol<br/>- the possibility of self harm/suicide is vaguely alluded to, but nothing happens<br/>- this is just kind of a downer ending<br/>- <b> all of jon's pov scenes are in second person (ex. saying "you leaned over" instead of "he leaned over"), including the above mentioned rape scenes </b></p><p>words used for jon's anatomy: breasts, tits, chest, clitoris, nub</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Martin didn’t <em> mean </em> to start doing this, it just… happened.</p><p>It started with their fourteenth night in paradise and Jon blinking in and out of coherence. Martin was trying to help Jon stay present, giving his hand a squeeze or his cheek a kiss every so often to bring him back to himself. But then Martin realized he could kiss Jon as hard as he wanted with no resistance. He stuck his tongue right down Jon’s throat and all he got back was a little bit of pressure and a soft sigh. Jon had never been one for tongue kissing.</p><p>He slipped a hand under Jon’s shirt and squeezed one of his small breasts, this time getting back some mild squirming <em> into </em> the touch. Jon had never been one to be touched there.</p><p>He slipped a hand under Jon’s waistband and circled his fingers around until he got right over the clitoris and <em> really </em> started rubbing. This drew a gasp and Martin quickly took his hand away, suddenly afraid that he’d made Jon aware again just in time to find hands all over him in exactly the places he’d said are off limits. A few seconds passed, Jon didn’t stir, and Martin cautiously started again, fingers getting slicker as he realized that whatever a fully conscious Jon might think of this situation, his body liked it a <em> lot. </em></p><p>Jon’s breathing got faster, his glazed eyes closed, and his mouth started turning up into a smile. Martin was pretty sure he could feel Jon pressing into fingers.</p><p>Jon’s labored breaths tried to form words. “G--<em>good,</em>” he eventually managed. “<em>Please more.</em>”</p><p>Martin was nothing if not an attentive partner. He gave Jon’s lips a quick kiss before shoving his shirt up enough to take a tit into his mouth and pushing down his pants enough to start to fuck Jon on his hand proper.</p><hr/><p>You’re sitting somewhere, you’re pretty sure. You get dizzy when you’re upright, and your head’s swimming now, but you haven’t fallen over, so you must be sitting. Your head is laying on a soft shoulder. You breathe in, and they smell nice. They smell like wool and tea and… and Martin. Martin! This is Martin. You like Martin. Martin’s safe and warm and nice.</p><p>Martin says something, and you haven’t a clue what it is, but he lifts you and moves you from beside him onto his lap facing him. Your head feels heavy, you think that’s why you had it on his shoulder in the first place, so you lay it back down on his shoulder. Everything feels a bit heavy, and you wrap your arms around him so you don’t fall. He’s solid and you’re sleepy.</p><p>He puts a hand on your bare thigh. You’re not wearing clothes. You don’t think you have been for a while. He rubs his hand over your skin and you like it. Martin is safe and warm and nice and you like it when he touches you. You feel a chill come over your body and you cling close to him for warmth, putting your face right in the crook of his neck.</p><p>You feel him rub his hand in circles up the inside of your thigh, slowly tickling you in your soft spots. You’re getting a bit sticky by the time he gets to between your legs, and you whine into his neck as he pinches your nub. You writhe and squirm as he puts his other arm around you, but not to get away, to get as close as you can and push your chest into his. You like when your chest is touched and you <em> think </em> he likes touching you there, too, but it’s hard to remember. He rubs his thumb against where it feels good and you giggle. <em> Touchmetouchmetouchmetouchme. </em></p><p>Something goes <em> in </em> you. Finger? No, wider. You keep giggling as it goes in further. Martin is safe and warm and nice and you like it when he’s in you. You’re bouncing on your knees planted either side of him, you like how it feels when you move. It feels, it feels-- “<em>Good,</em>” you whine. “<em>Goodgood like it please more please.</em>” <em>Inmeinmeinmeinme.</em></p><p>The arm around you tightens and you go up and down slowly. He keeps rubbing you in the front and you’re so wet it must be hard to keep a grip. You can’t keep a grip on words so you moan and gasp and stutter and shudder into his neck, it’s so good and you have to let him <em> know </em> you like it. Martin is safe and warm and nice and you’re happy and you like it <em> a lot </em> and he’s making you feel very <em> very </em> good so you suck and lick and kiss and bite at his collarbone a little bit.</p><p>You feel full and floaty and happy and your thighs are starting to shake. “<em>Yes yes yes yes,</em>” you breathe as it feels better and better. It’s <em> so </em> much and you scream a little bit as it rolls over you. Before your head falls limp back to his shoulder, you bite Martin’s ear because you like him a lot and you’re <em> very </em> happy. Then you collapse against him. You think you were already sleepy before he started touching you, and you’re exhausted now.</p><p>He kisses down your neck to your chest as you leak onto his lap. That’s fine. He can keep touching you and stay in you if he wants to while you sleep. You like him touching you and being in you. You don’t care. You’re asleep.</p><hr/><p>You’re at a table in a bright room. There’s a glass in front of you. It’s almost empty. You have almost emptied it. You’ve emptied a few of them now. The brownish liquid makes you feel good. It doesn’t <em> taste </em> good, you kept spitting it out at first, but the woman across the table would give you a kiss every time you swallowed a mouthful and would pinch the back of your hand when you spat one out, so she led you through it until you stopped caring about the taste.</p><p>You feel silly and loose. You laugh quietly to yourself because you want to. The woman across the table is very pretty. You think you used to be scared of her. Maybe you still are? You don’t think so, though. She’s giving you a drink that makes you feel hazy and happy and far away and she was just kissing you a lot. You like kisses. You’d like some more kisses.</p><p>You finish your glass and try to get out of your chair, but your legs don’t want to listen to you and you slide right under the table. The woman bends down to look at you, staying in her seat. You tap your mouth. She says a few words and lifts her eyebrows like it’s your turn to speak.</p><p>You try. You really do, but all that comes out is, “Ki--ki--<em>shhh</em>--want some--<em>mmm</em>.” You slump to the ground. You’re so silly and loose, you could stay right here for hours. You <em> could</em>, but you feel her hands under your arms pulling you up towards her, and then she’s got her lips on yours. She tastes sweet as she licks around in you and there’s <em> sharp </em> in her mouth. You’re silly and loose and happy and she’s pretty and you like her and she helped make you feel good but she withdraws her face and sits up before you can bite and suck on her lip.</p><p>With nowhere else closer, you kiss her knee. You suck on the inside of her thigh. She moves her legs apart more and you keep moving in, putting your head under her skirt and putting your mouth on more of her until you get to between her legs. You’re a little relieved, sometimes she’s wearing something else here and you need help to get it off, but she isn’t now. She’s like you here, so you try and do what you like and find her nub and suck on it.</p><p>You suck and lick and suck and lick until you hear her start to make sounds. Good, she likes it, good. She presses her legs together around your head, which is good, you’re feeling dizzy and this means you won’t fall over. She keeps making sounds and she gets slicker and you want to put your fingers up yourself. You put your fingers up yourself. That feels good. You feel good.</p><p>You don’t know how long you keep it up, but you do know it ends, because suddenly there’s footsteps and strong arms that aren’t hers pulling you out from under the table and sitting you on top of it. The sudden movement made you feel a bit sick. This isn’t right, neither of you were done. You were in the dark under her skirt and now you’re in the light on the table. No, you don’t like this, you want to be put back.</p><p>You try and focus. Oh, him, the one who’s not either of the other two. He’s saying something, not to you, but to the side. To the woman, you think. She walks out of the room. He turns back to you, pushes you flat on your back, kisses you, and pulls your legs apart. No, no, too fast, you don’t like this. You like when it’s softer.</p><p>All at once, three fingers are moving inside you. No no no, <em> too fast, </em> it <em> hurts. </em> You try and kick him away, but he stays put. Why won’t he go away? You <em> don’t like </em> this, you don’t know what’s happening. As soon as you stop kicking, the fingers come out. Was that all you had to do? Okay. You don’t feel good, you want to lay down somewhere soft.</p><p>You start to try and move, but his hand comes back into view and pushes your shoulder down on table and he puts <em> something </em> up--</p><p>You scream.</p><p><em> No no no no no bad bad bad. </em> </p><p>You start to cry.</p><p>It’s cold and smooth and hard. Glass? Bottle? You don’t know, you don’t care, it <em> hurts. </em> He thrusts it up again and it hurts more and you’re scared and you can’t move and you’re crying and you want it to <em> stop</em>. You want to stop all of this.</p><p>“<em>Bad</em>,” you sob. “<em>Stop please bad.</em>”</p><hr/><p>“Mikaele!” shrieks Martin, coming into the room. Immediately, the man backs away from Jon, leaving him convulsing with sobs on the tabletop. “You aren’t meant to <em> hurt </em>him! Look what you’ve done, now.”</p><p>Mikaele puts the empty bottle down on the cabinet beside him and smiles. “Oops.”</p><p>Martin sits down on the table and gathers Jon up into his arms. He’s as incoherent as ever, so Martin keeps the conversation going over his head. “Why do you have to be so <em> rough </em> with him? Christ.”</p><p>Mikaele shrugs. “It’s the end of the world and he’ll forget by tomorrow.”</p><p>“It doesn’t mean you have an excuse to make him so miserable now.” Martin runs his fingers through Jon’s hair and hugs him close as he soaks Martin’s shoulder with tears.</p><p>Mikaele puts up his hands. “Maybe so, but it’s not like you have much room to talk, having started this whole arrangement.”</p><p>“<em>I </em> always try to make him happy.”</p><p>“Oh, so you think he’d be <em> happier </em> with you than me if he were in his right mind?”</p><p>Martin’s face goes completely still.</p><p>“You think he’d prefer to know he’s been wholly betrayed by the one person who’s meant to care about him?”</p><p>“I’ve not--”</p><p>“You have, Martin. You could leave here anytime you want, but you won’t, because you’re just as bad as me. At least I can be honest with myself about what I do.”</p><p>The air is filled only with the sounds of muffled crying.</p><p>“Now, I’m going to get about my day. I’d hope you stay with him, he’s quite drunk and rather upset. Who knows, he might hurt himself if left alone for long.”</p><p>Footsteps, a door shutting. Martin turns his attention to Jon. He runs his hand over the side of the tear streaked face. “Hey, hey there sweetheart, it’s alright, you’re alright.”</p><p>Jon’s whole body trembles as he presses himself into Martin’s side. “Bad.”</p><p>He tucks Jon’s head under his chin. “I know, I know love.”</p><p>“<em>Didn’t </em> like.”</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m right here.” He sighs. “God, this is a right mess. I’m sorry, it must be so hard for you, so confusing.”</p><p>Jon wails into his chest.</p><p>“I promise it won’t feel like this for too much longer, you’ll feel better after a lie down.” Martin pauses. “Well, you’ll probably wake up sore and in a bad mood, but you won’t know why, and it’ll be easy to fix.” <em> And I think you’ll probably have a week free before this happens again, </em> he thinks but doesn’t say. “What do you think would make you feel better now?”</p><p>He just keeps crying.</p><p>That’s fair enough. The question was more of a left over habit from before, Martin knows what distraction will cheer Jon up. He manages to slide a hand between Jon’s tightly closed legs, and while Jon almost looks like he’s about to panic and struggle again, he stops the second Martin starts pulsing his fingers back and forth over just the spot he knows Jon likes. Jon’s breathing doesn’t even out, but it goes from intensive labored sobs to short and shallow gasps.</p><p>“Better?” asks Martin.</p><p>“<em>Good</em>,” says Jon.</p><p>“Good,” says Martin, gently laying him back over the table again. Annabelle will want to finish her turn afterwards, but Martin’s going to give him some much needed comfort first.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>written for this prompt on the rq kink meme: https://rusty-kink.dreamwidth.org/1380.html?thread=628836#cmt628836</p></blockquote></div></div>
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